Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
