I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize