Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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