so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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