Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
