you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
