his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
