So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
