Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
