I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
