i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
