dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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