how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
