i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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