We won't sleep together?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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