Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
