ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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