I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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