Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
