Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize