Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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