I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
