It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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