Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
