Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
