what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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