Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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