Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
