she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
