Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
