I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
