If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
