just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
