There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
