Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
