Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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