dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
