Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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