He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
sex in a hospital.. check
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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