If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
