you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
