I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
