I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
