I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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