I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
