he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My dick has a subreddit
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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