This is not my ceiling
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
