dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
