I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
