I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
