im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
