i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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