Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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