D3 body, D1 cock
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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