He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
