I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
