Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
