we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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