I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
