So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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